Regarding my post below and the issues I was having with the jealousy I was feeling when I was out with my SO and her friends the other night.
She shared a female perspective on things.
“I don’t wanna hear particular stories of my SO but that doesn’t mean his stories can’t EVER have a voice. Who am I to say my SO can’t reminisce about days gone that happen to include parts I don’t wanna hear. It doesn’t AT ALL mean they wanna go back to those days, its just a way of laughing at yourself for who you were back then and for all the progress you’ve done getting where you’re at today (which is hopefully a better, more mature and responsible place than the stories you’re telling). And reminiscing doesn’t have to equal a longing for….it can just be a retelling of the tale in a more neutral fashion or a admission and a coming to terms with.
It’d be one thing if the SO is constantly going back to those stories and sounds wistful and sad that they’re gone. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the case.
If I ever tell tales of the past like this its more in the vein of “holy sh*t, wow, I can’t believe my life was like that back then, and thank god I made it out alive to tell the tale and pulled my head out of my ass and boy what a journey its been.”
Its a contextual thing. If I were to visit my college town with my SO and some friends (which we’re planning just such a road trip in the spring with another couple, the wife of which also attended my college), of course we’d be telling stories of craziness that happened in various locations there. Am I gonna discuss the apt # of the place I had my first ONS at, probably not, but there’s gonna be plenty of reminiscing going on. Does it mean I wanna go back and continue living that life ABSOLUTELY NOT, HELL NO, NO WAY.”
Like I said, that kind of thing doesn’t usually bother me so I think it was just maybe the stress of being in a new country combined with hanging out with people where I really only knew one person in the group, and dealing the fact that this is all new to me but familiar to everyone else I was with.
It hasn’t bothered me since, and I’m having a good time here!